General:

What does non-government mean?

A non-governmental organization (NGO) is a legally constituted organization created by natural or legal persons that operates independently from any form of government. This means that Maitri India is not a part of the government and does not operate for profit business.

Financial/Donations:

Can I donate to Maitri India?

Yes, any contribution will be accepted and greatly appreciated. Please visit the Donate Now section of our website for more specific information on how to do so.

Is my donation tax-deductible?

Yes, all donations will receive a tax deductible receipt. All donations are tax exempt under section 80 G(5)(vi) of the Indian Government Income Tax Act, 1961 and the United States Internal Revenue Code, 501(c)(3).

Where does the money go? Can I visit your projects?

Maitri India uses the money raised each year to in accordance with its mission statement. We do this through our programs, events & awareness. Maitri donors can also decide which project(s) they would like to contribute to in which case the money will be used in our efforts towards that particular project. We also welcome visits to our project sites, so you can directly interact with those who are benefitting from your donation.

Can I make an in-kind donation?

Yes. We welcome in-kind donations that would be useful for our beneficiaries. In fact, some of our donors prefer to personally distribute such goods. Please visit our Wishlist page for more ideas. Please also note that donations such as clothes etc. must be in a good condition.

Can I donate in the honor/memory of someone?
Yes. If you would like to donate in honor of another person, please include their name and address so we may send them an acknowledgement. If you are interested in sending in a memorial donation please include your name and address.

Get Involved:

What can I do to help, or how can I get involved?

Please check out the Get Involved section of our website for a list of all the ways to get involved.

How can I work at Maitri?

Maitri does not have any openings for paid positions at the moment. We do, however, have an intern program. Please check out the Intern section of our website for more information.

Fundraising/Logos/Legal:

I would like to hold a fundraiser for Maitri. How do I go about it?
Please email maitri.india@maitri.org.in for more information on how to put on benefit for Maitri India.

Public Relations/Media:

How do I interview someone from Maitri India?

For all press inquiries, please contact maitri.india@maitri.org.in

I am doing a project on Maitri India. Can you help me with it?

Please send all project requests to maitri.india@maitri.org.in

Can representative(s) from Maitri India speak at my event or conduct a workshop for my community?

Maitri India is always open to the possibility of participating in events related to our cause. Please have an official representative email us at maitri.india@maitri.org.in if you are interested in having us conduct a workshop or speak at an event/institution. Thank you for your support.

I know someone who is being abused. How can Maitri India help?

Maitri India does not have a 24-hour helpline nor does it provide crisis intervention, shelter or financial aid to victims of abuse. Rather, Maitri operates as a bridge to help raise awareness, and provide necessary resources related to domestic violence. Towards this end, we provide legal guidance, advocacy, counsel and referral to victims of domestic violence, friends and families.

Maitri India supports victims of abuse/domestic violence in their search for justice and equips them to exercise their legal rights. We are ready to inform, advice and counsel you about your options, and help you overcome the suffering that you have lived through. .

If this is an emergency, or if you are worried that you or someone you know may be at risk for abuse, please call your local authorities, contact a mental health professional, or call and talk to someone at Maitri +91 1124122692

Help lines:

Domestic violence FAQ

1)  How can I help a friend or family member who is being abused?

- Help your friend or family member identify the abuse. Tell him or her that you want to help them and acknowledge what they are going through. Also, help them understand that what they are experiencing is not “normal” and that they do not need to accept abuse.

-  Let your friend or family member know that they do not have to blame themselves for the abuse. Assure them that they are not alone and that help and support is available.

-  Hear out your friend or family member. Remember that it may be difficult for him or her to talk about the abuse. Let him or her know that you are available whenever they need help. What they need most is someone who will believe and listen to them.

-  Support your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay or leave an abusive relationship. He or she may even leave and return to the relationship many times. If he or she ends the relationship, continue to be supportive of them. Even though the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and lonely once it is over and will need your support and care. Do not criticize his or her decisions.

- Encourage him or her to get involved in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family.

- Help him or her to develop a safety plan.

- Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counselling, referral and guidance. Offer to go with him or her to talk to family and friends. If he or she has to go to the police, court or a lawyer, offer to go along for moral support.

- Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately the person going through abuse has to be the one to decide that they want to do something about it. It’s important for you to support him or her and help them find a way to safety and peace.

2) What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.  Moreover, this occurs when the victim is being mistreated with no concern shown for their integrity or worth as an individual by their abuser.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that affect another person. This includes any behaviours that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame or injure someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Some people aren’t sure if they are being or have been abused. They may know that they have been harmed, but they may think that they deserved that harm, for instance, or perhaps think instead that some degree of harm is acceptable or reasonable, or just inevitable.

3) What are the Effects of Domestic Violence?

Being abused does make it much more likely that one or more psychological or medical illnesses will occur. Victimized people commonly develop emotional or psychological problems secondary to their abuse, including anxiety disorders and various forms of depression. If abuse has been very severe, the victim may be traumatized, and may develop a post traumatic stress injury, or acute stress disorder, personality disorders or sexual disorders. Sex may be experienced as particularly undesirable, or physically or emotionally painful. Severe abuse can even lead the victim to consider suicide or attempt it. It can also result in poor self‐esteem, which can lead to a lack of close and trusting relationships or to body image which in turn can result in eating disorders.

4) How do I know if Im being abused?

Not everyone who is being abused realizes that what they are going through abuse. Some may feel that something isn’t right about how they are treated, but they may be afraid to talk about it and name it as abuse for fear of revenge from their abuser.

Does your partner:

• Embarrass you with put-downs?
• Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
• Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go? For instance, does your partner tell you that you are not allowed to have friends, leave the house without his permission, or tells you that you are not allowed to pursue your own goals growth, such as attending school or finding work?
• Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
• Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
• Make all of the decisions?
• Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
• Prevent you from working or attending school?
• Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
• Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
• Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
• Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
• Force you to try and drop charges?
• Threaten to commit suicide?
• Threaten to kill you?

Do you:

 .  Feel you are becoming more withdrawn so that you do not spend much time with others who may clue in to the fact that abuse is happening to you?

·         Find yourself making excuses for partner’s bad and harmful behaviour?

·         Recognize that your relationship has a pattern or cycle in which something abusive occurs, you tell partner that you will not tolerate the abuse anymore, but then forgive him/her when he or she apologizes.

·         Blame yourself for bad things your partner has done to you. For example, tell yourself that you are really difficult to live with so you deserve to be hit.

Feel trapped in your own home and being fearful when you know partner is coming home.

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

Source: www.ndvh.org

5) What is safety planning?

Safety planning for someone involved in an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step. Planning can be used while you are still with your abuser or after the relationship has ended. While still in an abusive relationship, your safety is of primary importance.

Safety Plan Guidelines

Following these suggestions is not a guarantee of safety, but could help to improve your safety situation.

Personal Safety with an Abuser:

• Identify your partner’s use and level of force so that you can assess danger to you and your children before it occurs.
• Try to avoid an abusive situation by leaving.
• Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and there are ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those areas.
• Don’t run to where the children are, as your partner may hurt them as well.
• If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target; dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.
• If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know what numbers to call for help. Know where the nearest pay phone is located. Know the phone number to your local battered women’s shelter. Don’t be afraid to call the police.
• Let trusted friends and neighbours know of your situation and develop a plan and visual signal for when you need help.
• Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner. Plan a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.
• Tell your children that violence is never right, even when someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you, nor they, are at fault or are the cause of the violence, and that when anyone is being violent, it is important to stay safe.
• Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.
• Plan for what you will do if your children tell your partner of your plan or if your partner otherwise finds out about your plan.
• Keep weapons like guns and knives locked away and as inaccessible as possible.
• Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it fuelled. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and others locked — for a quick escape.
• Try not to wear scarves or long jewellery that could be used to strangle you.
• Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or night.
• Call a domestic violence hotline periodically to assess your options and get a supportive understanding ear.

Getting Ready to Leave

• Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
• Know where you can go to get help; tell someone what is happening to you.
• If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit.
• Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them, like a room with a lock or a friend’s house where they can go for help. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you.
• Contact your local battered women’s shelter and find out about laws and other resources available to you before you have to use them during a crisis.
• Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made, if possible.
• Acquire job skills or take courses at a community college as you can.
• Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold money for you.

General Guidelines for Leaving an Abusive Relationship

• You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave.
• If you need to sneak away, be prepared.
• Make a plan for how and where you will escape.
• Plan for a quick escape.
• Put aside emergency money as you can.
• Hide an extra set of car keys.
• Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them at a trusted friend or neighbor’s house. Try to avoid using the homes of next-door neighbors, close family members and mutual friends.
• Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc., as well as other important items, including:
• Driver’s license
• Regularly needed medication
• Credit cards or a list of credit cards you hold yourself or jointly
• Pay stubs
• Check books and information about bank accounts and other assets
• If time is available, also take:
• Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.)
• Titles, deeds and other property information
• Medical records
• Children’s school and immunization records
• Insurance information
• Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will and other legal documents
• Verification of social security numbers
• Welfare identification
• Valued pictures, jewellery or personal possessions

You may also create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies and schools in a town at least six hours away from where you plan to relocate. Ask questions that require a call back to your house in order to leave phone numbers on record.

After Leaving the Abusive Relationship

If getting a restraining order and the offender is leaving:

• Change your locks and phone number.
• Change your work hours and route taken to work.
• Change the route taken to transport children to school.
• Keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times.
• Inform friends, neighbors and employers that you have a restraining order in effect.
• Give copies of the restraining order to employers, neighbors and schools along with a picture of the offender.
• Call law enforcement to enforce the order.

If you leave:

• Consider renting a post office box or using the address of a friend for your mail.
• Be aware that addresses are on restraining orders and police reports.
• Be careful to whom you give your new address and phone number.
• Change your work hours, if possible.
• Alert school authorities of the situation.
• Consider changing your children’s schools.
• Reschedule appointments that the offender is aware of.
• Use different stores and frequent different social spots.
• Alert neighbors and request that they call the police if they feel you may be in danger.
• Talk to trusted people about the violence.
• Replace wooden doors with steel or metal doors. Install security systems if possible.
• Install a motion sensitive lighting system.
• Tell people you work with about the situation and have your calls screened by one receptionist if possible.
• Tell people who take care of your children who can pick up your children. Explain your situation to them and provide them with a copy of the restraining order.
• Call the telephone company to request caller ID. Ask that your phone number be blocked so that if you call anyone, neither your partner nor anyone else will be able to get your new, unlisted phone number.

Copyright © 1998 by the National Center for Victims of Crime.